Happiness and Purpose
in Life
“Happiness”
may be defined as the fulfillment of a desire (and “unhappiness” as the
non-fulfillment of desire). Thus, if there are four kinds of desire, there will
also be four
kinds of happiness.
Level 1 is the desire
for externally stimulated or physical pleasures and possessions (e.g., a bowl of linguini or a new Mercedes
e-Class with leather upholstery).
Level 2 is an
ego-gratification = increases in status, admiration, achievement, power, control, winning, etc., and
generally entail a comparative advantage, which can lead
to fixation and extremely negative emotive conditions.
Level 3 tries to make
an optimal positive difference to the world
without expectation of return.
Level 4 is the desire
for the ultimate,
unconditional, or perfect in truth, love, goodness, beauty, and being.
As one moves up the
four levels of desire, one attains more pervasive, enduring, and deep purpose
in life.
The only “down
side” to this ascendancy of effectiveness and purpose in life is
that one has to delay
gratification, look beneath and
beyond the surface of life, and give
up some degree of
intensity.
This “trade-off”
marks one of the most difficult challenges of the spiritual life, for it is not
easy to let
go of what is so easily
and intensely satisfying. Yet, it is worth it, for the move to Levels 3 and 4 fills us with higher purpose,
more enduring (even eternal) effects, and awakens the highest, most
sophisticated powers within us.
Level 4 introduces us
to a deep relationship with the unconditionally
loving God.
Saint Augustine
phrased it well when he prayed to God, “For Thou hast made us for Thyself, and
our hearts are restless until they rest in Thee.”
Each level of desire
can become dominant, and when it does, it becomes our purpose in life and our identity.
The Comparison Game
We obsess upon the
material/physical world and the ego/comparative world because they are so
immediately gratifying, intense, and surface-apparent. It is hard to loosen our
grip on them.. Thus, most of us move through a series of trials and tribulations..
Level 2 is not bad. Indeed, quite the opposite. The desire for achievement leads to progress in
civilization. The desire for
respect leads to credibility, confidence, and self-respect. The desire to win
leads to competitiveness and the seeking of excellence.
Even the desire for power can be used for good purposes.
The problem is not Level 2, but living for Level 2 as an end in itself. When one does this, then achievement leads
to compulsive “getting ahead,” instead of “a good beyond the achievement.”
Seeking respect leads to pandering
after admiration.
Power sought as an end in itself corrupts – and absolute power sought in itself corrupts absolutely.
Ending the Game
A variety of consequences follows from this narrow purpose in life: one may feel emptiness arising out of “underliving life.”
Obsession with Level 2 precludes the pursuit of Level 4.
And so I begin to feel jealousy, a malaise about life, inferiority,
loneliness, frustration, and even a terrible sense of self-pity and resentment.
One might respond that
these negative emotions do not befall the dominant Level 2 winner, for to the victor go the spoils.. Dominant
Level 2 winners really do feel that their lives are worth more than other people’s
lives, and so they either project contempt or (if they are more enlightened) they are patronizingly
condescending. In the end, such winners cannot afford to fail; if
they do, those whom they have treated with contempt will ravage them. In sum, winners better be perfect; but then again, they can’t be altogether perfect. So winners must construct
a huge façade and then protect it; but then again, they
cannot construct a façade impenetrable enough to keep observant inferiors at
bay.
Transcendence
An intellectual choice of Level 4 as one’s fulfillment, purification,
and joy, does not necessarily translate into anaffective (emotional)
choice of Level 4. Thus, we
might say that Level 4 is the identity to which we want to move, but find
ourselves unable to give up attachments to Levels 1 and 2. We can therefore
find ourselves in conflicts of desire, failures of resolve, and feelings of inadequacy and guilt. You should not
find this daunting because it is part of everyone’s journey toward Level 4.
Slowly but surely Levels 3 and 4 begin to replace the deep
attachment to Levels 1 and 2, In short, the long journey ofdetachment from Levels 1 and 2 toward attachment to Levels 3 and 4 brings sanity, peace, and eternal Love.
Maintaining
Transcendence
The most effective way
of moving from Levels 1 and 2 to Levels 3 and 4 is through God’s grace, and the most effective way of allowing God’s
grace to affect us is through prayer and the contemplative life.
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